The man I loved told me he was an asshole.

 

Maya Angelou is quoted as having said, “When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.”

Sounds easy, right?  Not so fast.

The man I loved said always told me he hated talking on the phone, but he loved talking with me.  This always made me feel special.  It was during one of these long talks that I remember him saying, “One day, you are going to see that I’m an asshole.”  You read that correctly.  He actually used those words.  I’ll never forget that.

What do you think I said in response?  “Oh my goodness!  Thank you so much for your honesty.  It is truly refreshing.  You undoubtedly know yourself best.  I guess I’ll be leaving this relationship so that I can find someone else who can appreciate the love I have to give.” 

I didn’t say that.  I didn’t say anything close to that.   Here’s what I remember. I responded with “Why would you say that?  I can’t imagine I will ever see that.”  Apparently eager to remain in my fantasy, I changed topics.   

We all want to be loved, don’t we?  The desire is baked into our psyche.  What would cause someone to confess that they are an asshole?  What makes someone not believe the confession?  My story answers those questions.